I should be in bed by now. But yet, I'm still awake. I couldn't sleep. Keep thinking about him. I don't know what when wrong between us. It's already 9 days since he last text me with a word that left me thousands of questions. I'd tried to stop thinking about him. And yes, I'm failed. I can't bare the fact that I couldn't text or call him like I used to. What and when did we went wrong? Why he just shut up and stay silent out of sudden?
If I did done something that hurt him, I hope he knows that I'm really sorry. I didn't mean it. I really love him and I wont do such thing. I did text and called him, none of it he replied. I did think as positive as I can. I forced myself to believe that he had been busy or out of credit. Or maybe he asleep or his phone was on silent or upstairs. But why it has to be 8 days without any news, call or text from him? Why, why and why?
I did bought him "Butang Baju Melayu" for his 1st day of Raya this upcoming thursday. But I didn't have the guts to post it to him. All I can do is, ask a help from his cousin to give it to him on behalf of me. Ya, that's the only way left for me. I've got lots of things to share with him. But I couldn't and can't. I really wanna tell him that our this year Raya theme are the same. Yellow. And yeah, I looked for the perfect Baju Kurung just for him to be happy. But how can I do that in this situation?
I wonder how is he. Is it he's fine or what. But the most important thing is, does he still love me like he told me before or he already had his true love. If he does, I should be happy for him. No, I'm happy for him. Because I love him, I want him to be happy. Even the chosen one wasn't me. Ya, I'm gonna get hurt and gonna cry a lot. But I'm respecting all of his decisions. And for sure, I'll never forget our deal. Never and always remember it.
TAF;
I love you, yes I do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Even until the end of time
I'm happy if you're happy
Just be who you are
I'll always love you no matter what
I'm sorry but I love you
I'm sorry if I miss you
Even if I can't have you
You know I'll always be there for you
